Tell Em Why You Mad...

Im tryna run away from my past, get away from my old life, old friends. Its not the most noble thing 2 do, but today i realized its better than being stuck where u were always at. Life is about change and ive changed and grown so much from wat i was before. My better may not be every1 elses better but its wonderful 2 me. Change is necessary for growth, and theres nothing more pathetic and nauseating to me than seeing the same ol people doin the same shit in the same place. And those people try 2 suck u into the past, relive the old times, not realizing those times are dead and gone. The past is for making memories, now is for living life; new intresting, refreshing life. I never thought id be where i am now, living in dc, living this life. But thats the beauty of it, u never no where ull end up. Being stuck in the same place and in the same life, makes it impossible to grow as a person. you think the same act the same, your mind works in the same way. I cant live like that.

Love-
I was surrounded by my family today, all of us mourning the death of my aunt. And of all the emotions i felt so strongly today, the strongest was love. Thru all the pain, the tears, despair, and grief, I had never felt so much love from and for my family. They are so trusting, forgiving. Open armed unconditional love. I swear to you its the most powerful thing ive ever felt. They say love is the great motivator, and now i get why. Love is what i feel when my mother hugs me, what spills out of jamaals eyes when he looks at me, what i feel when my sister laughs. So small, and simple, yet beautiful at the same time. Like the way everyday before mal goes 2 work, he strokes my hair, pulls the covers up, and gives me a kiss. Love stays with you long after its gone, and when its real, doesnt fade even during the roughest times. Its like god, its every where, but you cant see it. you can only feel it and it feels so real.

Hatred-
Hate is a strong word, but for some people in this world, all i have are strong words. To be honest, i hate very few people. wat i hate are the things inside them, jealousy, greed, envy. the things that make my life, and the lives of the people i love that much harder. I hate disrespect and i hate how good guys always finish last. I hate weakness. People can be ugly, mean spirited, and angry individuals. The thing about hate is that its like a poison, it spreads and infects others with it, which is why im so angry even as i write this. Im struggling with some things in my life rite now, with people who try to hurt me and take away my happiness and i've been trying real hard to remain refined, act with class and dignity. But, im going 2 be honest, some of that hatred has infected me and i most certainly feel some type of way. I will beat the DOG SHIT out of any1 who has big enuf balls to fuck with me. If u have such audacity, some see me. Im being 100% serious. And please dont get it twisted, this is purely about respect. I live my life by the saying "treat others the way u want to be treated" so i always give respect, 2 every1, with the expectation that Ill get it back. I will no longer tolerate disrespect. And as i said previously, if u think im kidding, come see me. Hatred is very powerful and very dangerous, sobe careful.

Indifference-
Indifference is the opposite of the above 2. Both love and hate imply the presence of an emotion. There are people i love, those i hate, and those for which i feel absolutley no type of way. My goal is to get all of the people i hate in this category. As i sit here, i struggle to think of what 2 say about indifference because i feel nothing towards people like my father. So thats that : )