Tuesday, June 24, 2008
"Yea, its a great thing to be happy, but its so fucking hard"
I try so hard to be happy. I try so hard 2 be a good person. But i havent seen an ounce of the benefit in it. I feel as though ive earned my right to be happy, to be loved. But it just isnt happening that way. In fact, ive never felt so alone. Ive never felt so unloved, so not cared about. It makes me just wanna give up. Im so tired of trying. Its really starting to take a toll on me, its like i dont no wats wat anymore. I know it sounds pathetic, but every1 has needs, and when im in a relationship i need a certain amount of love, care, and affection. Period, i just do. And im not getting it and i dont no why! Ive earned it, ive fought for this through everything and i still cant get wat i need. Its hard enuf 2 be happy as it is. I feel like crying all the time. Maybe i made a mistake, mabye this isnt wat i thought it was, and mabye its not gunna work. Ive tried so hard i really have, ive given it my all, but its just not enuf. This shit is draining me; i dont know how much longer i can let myself love him
